Tech Support

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills (AND the job you have if it is not in Tech Support)!

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one...

Tech support: Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.  Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.  I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer:  A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

Customer:  My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer:  No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure.  I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five dots.

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem.  A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first email.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?

Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.  The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine.'

Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the Control and Escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.  Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'

Customer: I don't have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: P…on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!